Archive for January, 2010

Tooth Fairy


I think it is pretty adorable that my son, who tells me condescendingly that Santa “lives in all our hearts,” believes in the Tooth Fairy.

In fact, the Tooth Fairy forgot our house last night and it caused a great deal of concern. The idea that Charles put forth was that perhaps the T.F. was really busy or maybe she doesn’t work Mondays.

On the way home today Dillon was trying to calculate how many teeth a tooth fairy has to collect in a night, assuming a U.S. Population estimate that I provided that perhaps there were 300 million people in the country, and maybe 50 million of them were kids who were in the teeth-losing demographic. Then we talk about how often he loses a tooth, and he estimates about one per month, but I think it’s probably more like one every other month. So that makes 25 million kids lose a tooth this month, divided by thirty for who lost a tooth yesterday… And I am totally beyond the math I can do in my head in the car while I am driving, and so I distract him by saying that it’s definitely more than 100,000 kids and ask what he did at school today.

When we get home he and Rose go to his room and I am not really sure what’s happening until Rose comes out with $5. Apparently, Dillon was concerned about her lack of savings and decided to give her something to start out with. When I got wind of what was happening I asked her to return the money and reminded them that we had just calculated what we owed them in allowance money since the kids haven’t collected it (pretty much ever) I had them figure out the parents’ debt from January 1st on…

So then they disappear again and Rose comes back, saying she never got money from the tooth fairy. Which is true. She’s never brought a tooth home. At least two of them I am positive that she swallowed in a bagel. (I know, totally gross.) So D helps her write a note, explaining to the tooth fairy “YOU OWE ME FOR FOUR TEETH THAT I ATE” in 6-year-old handwriting… I guess they figured since the TF was already coming to the house tonight she’d better settle old debts.

I wanna be sedated


Home with the kids on a day off from school. D is playing quietly in his room, though for the past few weeks he has been obsessed with singing the Ramones’ “I wanna be sedated.”

Cut to today, when Rose is doing the loveliest dance around the living room and singing in her most beautiful princess voice (think Ariel from the Little Mermaid) “Oh I want to be sedated. Twenty twenty twenty hours I want to beeeeee sedated.”

Overheard in my kitchen


Dillon: Mom! Rose spilled a constellation of dog food on the floor of the kitchen and it looks like the big dipper!
[moments later]
Dillon: Mom! Dharma ate the North Star!